Masturbation. The buzzword of my generation. At one point or another, we’ve all had it (Haven’t we? Haven’t we?)
Has someone ever told you they wanted some me-time? What do you think they meant? Come on. Or what The Real Bachelors of Lang’ata call ‘Kusugua Risasi.’
I shall explain no further.
I am not sure this is what our ancestors meant by self-love. The topic of masturbation is one that is not easy to handle (ha!).
Let’s start with the obvious: The grass is green, the sky is blue, and people masturbate—gleefully and often. But men more so than women. According to Indiana University’s National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, while 84 per cent of men and 72 per cent of women ages 25 to 29 copped to getting off solo in the past year, women do it far less frequently.
Maybe because a lot of women fear that, since the sun is out, Jesus is looking directly at you. But this is why you invest in good blinds.
Masturbation is the self-stimulation of the genitals to achieve sexual arousal and pleasure, usually to the point of orgasms (sexual climax). This is usually achieved commonly by touching or stroking the penis in the case of males or the clitoris in the case of females. For other women, sex toys such as vibrators could be employed. I know, I know.
Masturbation seems, um, counterintuitive in the face of a global pandemic.
Inappropriate, perhaps, but not unusual – many of the subjects I polled admitted they had at one point or another masturbated, are masturbating or will masturbate, despite the incessant warnings and caution from men of the cloth which no longer seems to strike the fear of God into young people.
Also, wonder if porn – not renowned for its on-screen romance – might play a part.
The cis-het norms inherent to it have a nasty way of reasserting themselves inside new, ostensibly progressive forms.
In an anonymous poll done, pornographic media was voted as the first trigger leading to masturbation.
Dr Eric Amunga in a podcast says, “The behaviour of the group overpowers the behaviour of the individual.” In other words, the more you hang out with masturbators, the more likely you will start imitating and aping their habits which is to say, show me your friends and I’ll show you the masturbators.
Pubic parts in public areas
In Kenya, women have come out to complain about cases of men masturbating in public.
One Kenyan blogger and content creator Arthur Mandela ‘Xtiandela’ social media pages, one woman recalled sitting next to a man in a matatu heading to Kiserian in 2017. She reported that she was busy minding her own business when she noticed that the man’s hand was moving way too much only to realize that he was busy pleasing himself while looking at her.
She immediately hit his private parts with a water bottle she had causing the man to scream in pain. This caused everyone else in the matatu to be alarmed and upon realizing what was happening, the man was chased away from the matatu.
Another matatu incident was reported of an old man sitting next to a lady who tried to hit on her. When she turned to him, he signals to her to look down. The lady obliges and to her surprise, the man was masturbating.
More recently, a few videos have emerged on Twitter of a Kenyan man standing in the middle of the street while stroking his penis and looked to be ‘talking to someone on the phone’.
Many of our daily habits are the imitations of the people we admire.
He also says masturbation is autocatalytic. It feeds itself, it fosters the same feeling that it tries to numb. You feel sexually starved and hence you masturbate and because you masturbate you feel even more sexually starved. It is a vicious cycle. But did you know that masturbation can lead to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation?
Especially during this Covid19 period where a lot of people are idle? As the age-old adage goes – idle hands really are the devil’s playground.
However, we are living in the modern world and the stigma around masturbation is slowly dying away.
According to WebMd, 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated. Masturbation is the first sexual act experienced by most males and females.
So why do people masturbate?
• In addition to feeling good, masturbation is a way of releasing sexual tension that can build up over time, especially for people who do not have sexual partners or whose partners are unavailable for sex.
• To avoid pregnancies and/or sexually transmitted diseases.
• Masturbation is necessary when a man must give a semen sample for infertility testing or for a sperm donation.
The opposition to masturbation in Kenya is mostly based on an idea that pleasures of the body are bad because they distract you from religious devotion and thinking about God.
Should masturbation only be considered a problem when it inhibits sexual activity with a partner or is done in public as in the case of those scenarios of Kenyans getting caught masturbating in public?
Mercifully, because it’s all anyone’s been doing since the lockdown began, how safe are you?
NB: We do not necessarily encourage masturbation, but in case you are doing it: The friction of your hand directly on your penis for a prolonged period of time is not particularly good for you. Not to alarm you, but it can cause some minor desensitization in the penis. It can also leave some “rug burn.” Lube is important for all sex acts, from masturbation to intercourse.
Lotion may be a popular masturbation option, but lotion is not lube. It’s easy to find around the house and is convenient, but it isn’t ideal for masturbation. Your penis is a sensitive area. Some scented lotions may actually cause irritation (which is not fun).
Despite all the arguments for masturbation, are there other compelling reasons not to? Other than it causes addiction and the ensuing guilt and fear, do you support masturbation?
Next week, we go down under to reveal the other side of the sheet, and hopefully rub a few people the wrong away.
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